Episode 192

Vince Xu ·  The First Asian Bachelor in Reality TV History

“This is real, you are seeing this guy fall in love with a girl on freaking international television and it's the feelings are so raw, so real. That's why I just feel like this show is just so special.”

Vince Xu is a first-generation Chinese-Taiwanese American based in Los Angeles where he works as a lawyer who represents victims of catastrophic injuries and families that have experienced a wrongful death. Prior to his legal career, Vince made a name for himself as a serial entrepreneur. He started an innovative nightlife promotions company, co-founded an international leadership camp, and co-founded a national hot sauce brand. 

 

But even more notably, Vince joins us today as a reality tv star who was cast as the first ever Asian male “bachelor” in the new reality dating show “The One That Got Away” now streaming on Amazon Prime Video and Amazon Freevee.

 

Although there have been other Asian men that have been cast on reality dating shows, Vince is not cast in the typical role where we’ve seen other Asian men before. But rather, Vince is one of the main leads of the show whose journey we get to watch unfold as he dates and eliminates girls that have come from his past to take their shot at love with him — think a missed connection from high school or even a girl you flirted with one night at a bar. 

 

However, what’s also incredibly groundbreaking about Vince’s journey is that you see him date girls from various ethnic and cultural backgrounds and witness firsthand how he navigates different cultural barriers that often arise in interracial dating.

 

Social media handles:

 

Instagram: @vincexu

TikTok: @vincexu

Twitter: @vincexu_

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Podcast Transcript

[00:00:00] Maggie Chui: Hi, everyone. Welcome to the Asian Hustle Network podcast. Today, we have a very special guest with us. His name is Vince Xu. Vince, welcome to the show. 

[00:00:08] Vince Xu: Thanks for having me. I’m so excited; I’ve been a fan for a long time. This is something off my bucket list, I’m happy to be here.

[00:00:16] Maggie Chui: Oh, thank you so much. I’m really glad to hear that. And we’re very excited to have you on the show today. So Vince, tell us a little about yourself, where you were born and raised, and what your upbringing was. 

[00:00:26] Vince Xu: Yes. I’m a first-generation Chinese-Taiwanese. My dad was from China. My mom was from Taiwan, and I grew up in LA, specifically in South Bay near the beach in Palos Verdes.

[00:00:37] Vince Xu: And yes, I’ve been here my whole life. I’m an ABC, but I do speak Mandarin. I go to Chinese school every Saturday, and I speak Mandarin at home. So I feel like, even though I was growing up very Americanized, I think I have strong roots in like the Chinese-Taiwan, East side of me.

[00:00:55] Vince Xu: I think I can play two different roles depending on who I’m with. I like to have a good time when I’m out with my friends. I have a very diverse group of friends. I think some people stick to just having Asian friends that have pretty much all types of friends from different backgrounds. But then, at family gatherings, I was the one that was pouring the tea. I’m a respectful Chinese son, so that’s my life.

[00:01:17] Vince Xu: I’m a big beach guy, so I love it here in South SoCal. I play a lot of beach volleyball, but yes. I’m a lawyer, so my parents are happy about that. And yes, I’m in my office right now, long hours. 

[00:01:30] Maggie Chui: Yes. That’s interesting. I’m not that familiar with the LA area like Brian; on the other hand, he’s from LA and 66. He knows the demographics of every LA city. But what else did Freevee like, while you were growing up? Were there a lot of Asians in Palos Verdes, or was it more like other ethnicities that were non-Asian?

[00:01:51] Vince Xu: There is a decent amount of Asians. I wouldn’t say we’re the predominant racial class, but it’s mixed. It’s a more affluent area, for sure. It’s a little bit more isolated in the suburbs, but I think you get a good mix. But I did live in 626 in Alhambra. I have a condo out here that I lived there for five years while in law school.

[00:02:11] Vince Xu: Being there, it’s very Asian. It’s all Chinese like all the great food is there. I still go there all the time. I love it out there. I miss 626, I’m an LA boy at heart, so no matter what, as long as I’m in LA and close to my family, I’m close to all the excellent food.

[00:02:25] Vince Xu: I’m happy. Yes! 

[00:02:27] Maggie Chui: Yes, for sure. Yes, Brian always says he grew up with many Taiwanese people too. And so for me, it was like growing up in San Francisco; on the other hand, I also grew up with a lot of Asians and was predominantly Chinese. I’m also ABC. 

[00:02:41] Maggie Chui: Before I went out of California. I never really knew that we were a minority, which is interesting because many people who grew up in the Midwest like it’s a different story for them. They come out to California or New York. They realize that there are a lot more Asians out there than before. I feel like for many people living in California or who grew up in California, we don’t realize until we get out of California that we’re in a bubble and like a minority.

[00:03:05] Maggie Chui: So just something really interesting. 

[00:03:07] Vince Xu: That’s very true. I feel like I have friends that have come to me, and they’ve expressed stories of being the only Asian guy in their class and stuff like that, even like getting bullied for it. And I’m just like, it’s mind-blowing to me because being here, I’ve never gotten treated that way. I’ve never even witnessed a personal, like race-motivated attack or anything like that. But I know it’s out there. 

[00:03:29] Maggie Chui: Oh, yes. I could say the same as well. I think it is unfortunate that a lot of people are experiencing this and I hope I don’t have to share that as well. 

[00:03:36] Maggie Chui: But same with me, I haven’t experienced it as of yet, but it is a natural, very scary experience. So we know that you’re a lawyer, and as an Asian, I feel like many Asian parents always want us to become either a lawyer or a doctor, an accountant, something very stable. So, from your experience, was that something your parents had pushed you to do?

[00:03:59] Maggie Chui: Or was it something you jumped into because you wanted to do? 

[00:04:02] Vince Xu: Yes. I think I’m close to my parents. I’m an only child. I’ve always looked up to my dad. My parents first immigrated here, and I think probably many people could resonate with the story.

[00:04:11] Vince Xu: Their parents started with nothing, no money in their pockets. My parents work as waiters and waitresses in Chinese restaurants. My dad had to build a career for himself, and now he’s a physical therapist. He has his practice, but he started from nothing.

[00:04:25] Vince Xu: And he was taken advantage of because his English wasn’t excellent. He was trying to assimilate here. I guess he always wanted me to be able to protect his family and protect your family and be able not to get taken advantage of. He always thought having a lawyer in a family would be able to help in that regard. 

[00:04:44] Vince Xu: I think he has guided me in that direction. All the men on my dad’s side of the family were like doctors. They were all like in the medical field, so he had those aspirations for me. 

[00:04:53] Vince Xu: My science grades had different plans for me. I wasn’t the best at Chemistry, but I loved writing. I love oral arguments. I love public speaking, so it became a natural route for me. I knew I wanted to help people in a meaningful way. I felt like law was a great way to do that.

[00:05:10] Vince Xu: And I’m happy I chose this career. It wasn’t always the plan for me like before. I’m a very entrepreneurial guy. Back then, I even went to law school. I started a couple of businesses. My first ever company was as a promoter for college theme bars. You know, you always have advocated for nightclubs.

[00:05:29] Vince Xu: But I was a guy that wanted to come to Sharky’s Cabo like those bars on a Thursday night. Like I got you, I got hired by the DJs. I had all the bottles and everything and managed like sub-promoters that would promote the night.

[00:05:42] Vince Xu: I did that first until it got tiring. You’re just partying all the time, and people want to take shots with you, and you’re the guy, and you have to be on all the time. And then after that, I started a hot sauce business. I started with my ex, and we’ll probably get into it a little bit later. But when I was on the reality show, I talked about my ex for nine years; he was my high school sweetheart.

[00:06:05] Vince Xu: I started a hot sauce business with her. It’s called a lot of sauce. A lot of you guys might have known. It’s like the OG now because there are all these new chili oil sauces. Have you heard of it? Like, I see it pop up all the time on Instagram. Damn, so many people are kind of knocking us off now.

[00:06:20] Vince Xu: We were like the OG besides Lama, like Lama is OG. 

[00:06:24] Maggie Chui: Oh, I know which one you’re talking about. Yes! 

[00:06:26] Vince Xu: We’re talking about paying respect to the Lama. They paved the way. We came from a different route. We were like, okay, let’s provide a chili oil sauce. That’s like log Gama, but with a little more high-end, healthier ingredients.

[00:06:36] Vince Xu: Now, there are vegan flavors. I did that with my ex and then started law school while still working on that business. My original plan was that my ex at the time would be able to work on the business full-time. She would be dedicated to that because eventually if we get married and have children, she could stay at home, take care of the kids, and push out the hot sauce, and we’d be okay.

[00:06:58] Vince Xu: I could be at my lawyer job and be able to bring in some stability there. We were thinking long-term, and that was the plan. But obviously, the universe had different cards for us, and we ended up breaking up. She still works on the hot sauce, and now I’m just a lawyer slash reality TV star.

[00:07:16] Maggie Chui: Oh, wow. That’s amazing. I’m so sorry to hear about the breakup, but it is inspiring to hear how much you have experienced and how much you’ve grown and gone through, and how it led to the one that got away. And I do want to know how this all happened.

[00:07:35] Maggie Chui: For anyone who doesn’t know, the One That Got Away, Vince was cast as a lead along with Casey Ma on the reality dating show. The One That Got Away is on prime video and Amazon free V that just came out. I believe this is like the first time an Asian male and female have been cast as leads on an American reality dating show, being in the bachelor’s slash bachelorette role instead of a suitor.

[00:08:01] Maggie Chui: This is amazing. This is monumental, and I feel it’s essential to show Asian representation. I do want to know how this all happened. That experience was like, it’s unfortunate to hear that it didn’t work out with your ex-girlfriend.

[00:08:15] Maggie Chui: I’m so sorry about that, but how did this all like a kind of catapult and lead to you being cast into the One That Got Away? 

[00:08:23] Vince Xu: Yes. Being in a nine-year relationship, I never had any aspirations to want to go on a reality TV dating show. At the time, I was relatively new to dating because when you’re in such a launch relationship, you don’t have experience. So I was just, I was on the apps like everyone else. I downloaded Bumble, and I was just swiping. And then, all of a sudden, a casting producer matched with me, and she reached out, and she asked if I ever considered doing a reality TV show. She told me the premise, The One That Got Away; she was like, you’d be meeting people from your past.

[00:08:54] Vince Xu: Not necessarily your exes, but misconnections, and I was like, oh wow. That’s so intriguing because I’ve been in relationships for so long. I have so many misconnections. So I like what ifs? What if I wasn’t in a relationship? Maybe I could have dated that girl, I could explore that.

[00:09:08] Vince Xu: And this allowed me to have somebody coordinate all these girls from my past to come and date me. And I was like, why would I not do that? That sounds fun. I’m on Bumble. This sounds way better than Bumble. So I was sure of the odds at that point; I was like, where are the chances?

[00:09:24] Vince Xu: We went through multiple rounds of interviews. It took a few months before, after the live audition, they were like, yes, we want you. And I was like, oh my gosh, are you serious? I remember when I got cast for the show, and we were like quarantined right before filming; we were quarantined for a week.

[00:09:40] Vince Xu: One of the producers came into my hotel room and sat me down. He’s like, Vince, do you know what this means? Do you know what you’re going to do? He was one of the producers for the bachelor before. He said, Vince, you are about to be the first Asian bachelor in history. The way he told me, I was just taken aback because I’m not that. I watched reality TV. I’ve watched love, like some of the Netflix ones and stuff, but I’m not tuned in. 

[00:10:05] Vince Xu: He made me realize how groundbreaking, like me being on the show was because yes, you don’t see Asian guys on reality dating shows in general like in society, Asian guys are looked upon as inferior. I saw a statistic that said out of all the dating apps, in terms of desirability, I think Asian guys ranked the lowest out of all men. And so in, I guess America and our society, like people, don’t look at us as desirable.

[00:10:34] Vince Xu: And so me, being in this position where I’m the one these women are pursuing, it’s pretty groundbreaking. I guess you don’t see that. So I was like, wow, that is pretty crazy. That’s pretty cool. I feel like maybe I’m just so Americanized at that point. I was like, I didn’t think much of it, but the more he explained to me, he was like, you realize there’s never been an Asian bachelor.

[00:10:53] Vince Xu: On the bachelor’s show, it’s all been like white guys. They recently had a black guy, and I was like, yes, you’re right. This is the first time you see me on this show, and it’s not like I just stayed Asian girls, either. 

[00:11:03] Vince Xu: I date like the rainbow. They bring in someone like a black girl, a white girl, a mix of all these different women from different backgrounds coming through the portal to get their shot at a dating meet, which is mind-blowing that they would even sign up for that.

[00:11:18] Vince Xu: They must take time off work. They have to quarantine for a week. Some people didn’t even make it on the show that was quarantined for a whole month. That was just like waiting to come on, and then they didn’t even make it on. 

[00:11:30] Maggie Chui: Oh, wow. I did not know that. That’s crazy. I think what makes this show so special is the whole, being it’s your bachelor or bachelorette, you and Casey but not suitors. I think that’s so important because there are many other dating reality TV shows out there that have Asians.

[00:11:48] Maggie Chui: They’re often suitors and the first actually to go home. Then also, there is a lot of other reality dating shows that have all Asians, like all the people in the show are Asians, but what makes the one that got away so special? Is that not everyone on the show Asian?

[00:12:03] Maggie Chui: And so that exemplifies that it’s so important to have Asian representation on screen with other people who are non-Asians. And that just goes to show that we can do the same things non-Asians can do like we’re able to step up to the plate. We’re able to be cast in these leadership roles.

[00:12:19] Maggie Chui: Not only because it’s filling like a diversity quota, but because, like, we’re qualified to be in that lead role. We’re able to do the job, so that’s important too. 

[00:12:29] Vince Xu: Oh. I think, like Asians in general, we are on the come-up right now.

[00:12:36] Vince Xu: People are starting to realize that it’s not just that we can do the same as some of the others. But I feel like we do a lot even better. It’s just like people are realizing that there are just certain qualities and values that Asian people have that make us great partners.

[00:12:53] Vince Xu: I think Casey and I on the show have six leads total and me and her or two of them. You see our love story and how we conduct ourselves, and I think people like opening their eyes. Wow. Like they’re so likable. They’re very desirable, and they are genuinely trying to find love.

[00:13:10] Vince Xu: They have no ulterior motive. They’re the most genuine people, and I feel that’s the case. I think Asians, like you, see how we handle all our romantic relationships, right? Divorce rates are probably at an all-time low for Asians in general.

[00:13:25] Vince Xu: And we are just like romantic and compassionate lovers. I feel it’s different when I look at Asian couples and their relationships. I think people are starting to realize that as they see more and more of us on TV.

[00:13:37] Vince Xu: There are certain places in America where they don’t even see Asian people. Some Midwest, I remember I visited there, I was the only Asian person there. They have to like reference what they see on TV or like what they hear or see on social media.

[00:13:49] Vince Xu: So finally for them, to be able to see like how we date, how we talk to, people of the opposite sex or people that we’re trying to pursue. It’s so different, the type of questions we’re asking, the type of answers we’re providing. It’s different. I think that so much of it stems from a cultural perspective.

[00:14:04] Maggie Chui: I think so too. And I, as Asian, feel like we’re just so caring. We’re such caring individuals that when we’re actually in relationships and we care about someone so much, we show them all these different love languages, and the way that we love people is very nurturing.

[00:14:19] Maggie Chui: I feel like we’re seeing that a lot more because of social media TikTok, a lot of couples who are Asian and non-Asian that are together and are multi-racial and interracial. And so I feel like many people are saying, like, don’t sleep on, don’t sleep on Asians.

[00:14:32] Maggie Chui: We show our love to our significant other so nurturing that we’re just very caring people. I think a lot of people are seeing that nowadays. 

[00:14:40] Vince Xu: Especially if you watch my storyline, it feels like a cage drum even when I watch it back.

[00:14:44] Vince Xu: It’s got a different vibe for sure. It doesn’t necessarily feel like American reality TV. I feel like it had a cage drum tone, which is very neat. And I feel like a lot of Asians can relate in that sense. 

[00:14:54] Maggie Chui: Yes. So I want to know, how did they find people from your past?

[00:14:59] Maggie Chui: Did they have to go through your social media and find people from your Facebook and stuff? Or did they ask you to enlist different people from your past? What was that process? 

[00:15:08] Vince Xu: Yes, so they asked me and, like my close friends, for a list of girls, I remember giving them a list of maybe six or seven names just like girls that I was like, oh, maybe.

[00:15:18] Vince Xu: if I knew who wanted to date me, I would’ve already reached out and tried to date them. I was on the apps for a reason, and I was like, I don’t have that many options with you. Let’s explore, so I didn’t have much. That was my biggest concern too. I was like, even if you like me and can’t find people to date me, you’re not.

[00:15:33] Vince Xu: So I was like, what are the odds? And so, they ended up digging through my Facebook and Instagram and just reaching out. I remember girls even jamming me, saying oh, is this a scam? What’s going on? You’re going on a reality dating show. This sounds so far-fetched.

[00:15:48] Vince Xu: So yes, I was really surprised when they called me. We have girls that want to date you, and they’re really good. That call got me excited. I was like, no way, that’s insane, so I don’t know. I think a lot of these girls, too, like they, genuinely are like misconnections for me.

[00:16:02] Vince Xu: I haven’t talked to some of these girls in over ten years; how crazy is that? You haven’t talked to someone that you haven’t talked to for ten years now they’re coming on the show. They’re doing this whole crazy thing that they like you never really imagine going on reality TV and dating someone from your past.

[00:16:20] Vince Xu: I feel like it’s such a crazy experience, and that’s unique to my storyline too. Because of some of the other storylines, they’ll have people that come from their past, they’re still like friends. They hang out or see each other on the weekends here and there.

[00:16:32] Vince Xu: These girls are from, like not from here, and they’re not even close to me that I can’t even run into them in a supermarket or something. They’re far away, and I haven’t seen them in forever. And then now, they’re here, and I think it’s just such a mind-blowing experience.

[00:16:46] Vince Xu: It’s such sci-fi, it’s like science fiction. They created this portal, which Rick and Morty inspired. The whole concept is that this portal can go back in time, and these women come through like that’s just, and to me, it’s such a fantastic premise.

[00:16:59] Vince Xu: It’s so unique, and I think it’s so real too. What’s different from this show versus other rally dating shows is that you already have some context to go out of. As I said before, I’m from PV, from Palos Verdes. It’s like a small bubble-like it’s an affluent area.

[00:17:14] Vince Xu: But people always say, it’s very bubbly and everyone that’s like from PV, you get along with everyone. If I meet somebody and I’m like, I already know we’re going to be friends because it’s just an instant click. You know how you guys grew up. It’s just different.

[00:17:25] Vince Xu: And so like, for example, a girl from my high school shows up, and she’s from PV, I just feel like we have this instant connection. So like, when we’re talking, it doesn’t even feel like a first date, like a typical one. And I was like the feelings and emotions, they escalated so much faster.

[00:17:41] Vince Xu: Then if you were on, like, say, another reality show where you’re just meeting a stranger. You’re just trying to get to know them. Like you don’t even know where they’re from. You don’t even know one thing about that. So I think this show is unique because there is already some history.

[00:17:54] Vince Xu: And I think falling in love is maybe a little more realistic. When I watch a show, I feel like many people can relate. When you watch reality teams, you’re like, how real is that? Are they faking it? Can you fall in love in five weeks? This is how long we were filming, and I always thought that I was like, there’s no way that’s real. I don’t believe it. And I just don’t feel the feelings when I’m watching them. But then, being in this role and having someone you already know is so real. I think you can tell from my face throughout the whole time. Acting like it’s completely unscripted.

[00:18:24] Vince Xu: This is real. You are seeing this guy fall in love with a girl on freaking international television. Like it’s the feelings are so raw, so real. And yes, that’s why I just feel like this show is just so special. That way, it’s so different, which is why I signed.

[00:18:38] Vince Xu: I was like, yes, this premise just felt like it was suitable for me, the universe put me in this position, and it was like fate. Do you believe in the future at all? 

[00:18:46] Maggie Chui: Oh yes. I believe in fate, like 100%. I think everything happens for a reason, and the universe will lead you to whatever is meant to happen for you.

[00:18:57] Maggie Chui: So 100% believe in fate, but I know many people don’t. I feel like what comes will come. I feel like not everyone believes in faith, but that’s fine, but I think that whatever’s meant to happen for you will happen for you. There is this, you can just believe that the universe will lead you to the right thing.

[00:19:13] Vince Xu: It’s crazy because, like, I’m a lawyer, right? I’m working. Once you start working your job, you’re just in the routine. Like I go to work and the gym afterward on the weekends. I play with my dog and hang out with my friends. And it’s after college, and you’re just in working life, it becomes very formulaic and like life, feel like you have a handle of it and know what’s going on.

[00:19:32] Vince Xu: You start making plans like, okay, I’m going to date. I’m going to start dating, and hopefully, I can get married. Oh, yes, I have this whole thing found up, but all of a sudden you get mashed with someone on Bumble and that person changes your life and casts you on a reality dating show.

[00:19:47] Vince Xu: How crazy is that? You never know in life where you’re headed because things like that could just happen. And that’s what I’ve learned. My life completely changed after this reality TV experience. And not only because I’m on TV, but because I met somebody, that’s the most important thing to me. I met somebody I had solid feelings for, and we’re still talking. We still have these strong feelings for each other, and they’re so real. And you can’t compare that to anybody else.

[00:20:12] Vince Xu: Because no matter what, we have this unique experience that we share and that bonds you, right? You’re in a relationship with your college ex or your sweetheart or something like that, you share that common experience.

[00:20:24] Vince Xu: It brings you together. You can’t replicate that closeness by just finding someone on a data app. Yes, for sure. 

[00:20:32] Maggie Chui: Yes, oh my gosh. There’s so much to unpack there. And I feel like you’re right. When I watch reality dating shows, it’s so hard to know whether or not it’s real because I always think they’re acting like they have to work that way. After all, they have to make the show enjoyable. But you just admitted that like everything you said and felt was real, that was just you. For all the listeners, everything Vince did on the show was real. It just goes to show that people on these reality dating shows have real feelings and are showing real emotions and everything like that.

[00:21:04] Maggie Chui: And I feel like there’s such a mental blockage for people who reconnect with others from their past. I feel like it’s because, oh, there’s just so much similarity that grew up with them, or I think it’s very like a brotherly, sisterly kind of connection because you’ve gone through so much with them.

[00:21:21] Maggie Chui: Let’s say you went to the same middle school, high school, or college, whatever it may be. Many people don’t go back to dating people from their past because they feel they’ve just gone through so much with them. That’s why many people are like, oh, I need to start a relationship with someone who is on a clean slate.

[00:21:37] Maggie Chui: There’s no history or whatever. And I think there is a lot of mental blockage with that. But if you do date, someone who is from your past, you’re right. There is already that connection. You can always there’s so much to go off of. Remember that one time when whoever did this? I remember that one restaurant that we always like to go to.

[00:21:53] Maggie Chui: There’s already that foundation there, that connection. And it’s so easy actually to fall in love with that person. But you never know until it happens because we’re like working every day. We don’t have the time to reconnect with people from our past. You had this opportunity to reconnect with someone from your past, which is very rare.

[00:22:11] Maggie Chui: So it’s really interesting to see that dynamic because I know many people don’t like to go back to people in their past. 

[00:22:17] Vince Xu: Yes. I think there is a mental block. People are like, why would I go backward? I should be moving forward. Maggie, you’ve changed a lot over ten years.

[00:22:24] Vince Xu: I’ve changed so much over ten years. Who we were in high school was light years away from that. 

[00:22:28] Maggie Chui: Yes, exactly. 

[00:22:29] Vince Xu: I feel you can expect the same from most people. So if you’re meeting them at a different version of themselves, hopefully, a much more improved version.

[00:22:37] Vince Xu: And I feel you just need to give people a chance. I think people compartmentalize and box people into specific categories. They just think that’s who they are and will never change, but you’ll be surprised by how much people change. And if you see me, you’ll see some of the photos they show, like from my past, as I look so like I usually physically I look like a completely different person.

[00:22:56] Vince Xu: But like the things I’ve learned about relationships and how to treat women, how to be like a better boyfriend, those are all things that I didn’t know in high school. I was so naive, but now I feel I would date. If I was a younger version of myself, I would look back and be like, how don’t even know if I really would date that guy. He still has a lot to learn, but as we get older, we become better versions, and people deserve second chances, and we just need to be open to that.

[00:23:19] Maggie Chui: Yes. So we don’t want to give too much away from the show because we want our listeners to watch the show and figure out what happens, what happens to Vince, of course. But what could you give out if you could say one thing that the audience can expect from watching The One That Got Away? 

[00:23:35] Vince Xu: I think you’ll find a lot of craziness. I’m not going to lie. There’s my storyline, there are six storylines in total. And I think you will find that all of our storylines are very different. But they’re all very real in different ways. The producer did an excellent job of showcasing different personalities and how people will make choices differently.

[00:23:56] Vince Xu: The type of people that come for you compared to other people, you can say oh, I can tell this type of person, like his dating or, like his dating history and stuff. His personality is based on the people that come through the portal. The portal was like, you see reflection based on the people. Because it’s for me, I have someone from high school, college, and law school during different phases of my life as I’m growing up. And like I do, I have some amazing women that come, and I credit my storyline and how great of a time I had for these women.

[00:24:25] Vince Xu: And I think that’s unique because other dating shows, most of them just want to be on TV. But these girls already know me, and they’re not applying for reality TV gigs. They just got hit up in the DMS, and they’re like, yes, I would like to date with, so you’re getting a lot more of a genuine type of viewing from this show.

[00:24:44] Vince Xu: I think you will have your heartstrings tugged at by maybe my storyline. And then you’re gonna get a little bit frustrated from watching some of the other storylines, but you’ll also like, it’s like the type of frustration where you can’t stop watching where you’re just like, oh my, what happens next?

[00:25:01] Vince Xu: But yeah, I think overall it’s a really fun show. Reality TV is always a light, fun watch that people are fans of. Reality TV shows, in general, are one to watch. It’s such a unique premise. It’s so fresh, and you’re getting something different.

[00:25:17] Vince Xu: I think many other shows I’ve been around for a long time are like rinse and repeat the same formula. You’re seeing many of the same stuff, but this one is fresh and new. And I think people will like it, 

[00:25:28] Maggie Chui: Yes, excellent. Hopefully, all of our listeners or most of them will be able to watch it.

[00:25:32] Maggie Chui: Going into the reality dating show and being cast as a lead was your first time being on a reality show, is that correct? 

[00:25:42] Vince Xu: Yes. I never thought about it, yes. 

[00:25:46] Vince Xu: Oh my gosh.

[00:25:46] Maggie Chui: That’s amazing. 

[00:25:47] Vince Xu: Nothing was private. I was a very private person. I wasn’t trying to be known or anything like that. Not at all. I don’t even like the fact that they found me on a dating app is the only way you could probably reach out to me. It’s like a needle and hay. 

[00:25:59] Maggie Chui: Yes, that’s crazy. Props to you! That’s like going on dating or a reality show, in general, is like already so much pressure, and for you to have that as your first one. Good job to you. Props to you! Given that it has changed your life, and so many things have happened to you, maybe not another dating show, but do you think you would go on another reality show in the future?

[00:26:22] Vince Xu: Yes, I absolutely would. I think we just need more Asian representation on TV, and I think we need more storylines about Asians, whether it’s like an Asian reality dating show or more like the OC or one of those, like real house wise types. One of those shows is based on an entirely Asian cast or a predominant Asian form and telling showcasing Asian friendships being developed. I know it’s like a terrace house, right?

[00:26:47] Vince Xu: I don’t know if you’ve watched terrace houses, which are like six Asian people, like Japanese people living in a house together. Then, there’s like little. Dramatic things that happened, oh, you ate like my leftovers in the fridge.

[00:26:58] Maggie Chui: Oh yes! 

[00:26:58] Vince Xu: Those are my little small, like dramas.

[00:27:01] Vince Xu: I feel like that’s cool. I feel like that’s kind of my right up my alley. I would love to do something like that. But yes, I would; I’m interested in doing more things on TV. Even just being on this podcast is fun. I just love talking to people. I love engaging with people and just like networking and meeting other Asians like yourself who are trying to raise Asian voices like this. This is something that we’re all doing together.

[00:27:23] Vince Xu: It’s fantastic to share that with someone like you. 

[00:27:26] Maggie Chui: Yes, aw, thank you, Vince. I appreciate you being on this show. I think, yes. I agree with you. It is essential for us to tell our stories and reshape the narrative because I feel like often, Asian stories are told inaccurately, and it’s inspiring to see other Asians on screen and more Asians in movies and TV shows and everything like that.

[00:27:46] Maggie Chui: You tell our stories accurately, so it’s incredible what you’re doing. I can’t wait until you are on the next reality show. And so, I’m just curious to know. Did your family watch this show, and what were their thoughts on you being on this show? I’m sure it was so random that our son has never been on a reality show before. This was super random; what were their thoughts on it?

[00:28:08] Vince Xu: Yes, first of all, my parents didn’t even know what reality TV was like. They didn’t understand what I was doing. And so, it’s funny because even on the show, many people have asked me, how come they didn’t show up? Because it was like a family dead show for other people, and I didn’t even really know what I was doing as they had no idea. And then, my dad watched the show with me. It’s funny because I have Amazon Prime. But like in the family living room and stuff, there’s no Amazon Prime, he’s oh, I’ll just watch it in bed with you.

[00:28:34] Vince Xu: I was like, okay. My dad jumped out of the bed, and we just watched the show together. He was like, ” Oh, let’s just skip to your scenes. He just wanted to see my scenes. We did that, but he wanted to see the girls talking about me, like when I was not there. He just thought that was interesting.

[00:28:50] Vince Xu: It’s funny because I filmed my dad’s reaction, and I made a video on Instagram about it. It’s so cute because my dad is like a classic Asian dad. He doesn’t show much excitement or expression, and usually, he’s just critical. He’ll be like, why did you wear that shirt?

[00:29:03] Vince Xu: He better wear dark-colored clothes because you’ll look more slender. He’ll critique all the things I’m wearing or my hair, like he’s like, your hairstyle now is better than on the show. What happened? There was a lot of that, but then he would say, ” Oh, it’s good.

[00:29:16] Vince Xu: It reflects reality. That’s what he said. He said it looks pretty realistic, and you guys are not acting like it feels natural. He and my mom saw it a little bit. She didn’t want to watch the whole thing because she didn’t have time for it. But she was just like, oh yeah, like you guys all cast seemed so real, genuine, and not acting.

[00:29:35] Vince Xu: And so she thought it was a flaw, and she was all like my relatives, aunts, they’ve been talking about it to her. She feels like she already watched it after hearing about it from them. But she still hasn’t watched the whole thing. I want her to watch it just because I wanted to see how she reacts to seeing me kiss another girl or make out because they never see that. I feel like it would be funny to see a reaction. 

[00:29:56] Maggie Chui: Oh my gosh. I think it’s so funny how your dad was like, oh, why didn’t you wear a darker shirt or do your hair this way? And that’s precisely how Asian parents are. They’ll like pick-nick-put on the most irrelevant things.

[00:30:07] Maggie Chui: But deep down inside, he’s probably, oh yeah, that’s my son. I’m so proud to see him. But they never say that. Most will say, ” Oh, good job, ” but they’ll never say, ” Oh, I’m proud of you. 

[00:30:15] Vince Xu: Yes! He was like, it’s not bad. It’s good. It’s okay. 

[00:30:19] Maggie Chui: Exactly, so hilarious.

[00:30:22] Maggie Chui: Okay. So Vince, what is next for you in the next five years? What do you expect if there’s another dating or reality show? What can our audience expect from you in the next five years?

[00:30:32] Vince Xu: I will still be a practicing lawyer because I love what I do and want to keep helping people.

[00:30:37] Vince Xu: Through that, I think I’ll be more active on social media. I’m trying to learn how to be like an influencer, like being more active on Instagram and posting reels and stuff I’m trying to learn. So just to get used to putting my life out into the public eye. It is the first step where I’m at right now.

[00:30:52] Vince Xu: I hope to get to the point where I like doing it regularly. I feel very comfortable sharing everything and, hopefully, like seeing different opportunities to apply to reality shows because I’ve never even used them. With that show, I did get reached out to.

[00:31:05] Vince Xu: So maybe if I tried to apply and reach out to people or even talk to producers about some stories I might have that I feel would be fun to tell or another reality dating or show idea. I know me and Casey talked about it. We’re like, what if we did an Asian show, like bling empire, but different, about like our friend group. My friend and her friend group are friends, and she moved from New Jersey here, so like I’m local. That’s showing her around, but like our friend groups like a clash, there’s a lot of drama just because our personalities are so different.

[00:31:34] Maggie Chui: The drama would be good. The drama would be good. 

[00:31:37] Vince Xu: Yes, it would be really good. It’s funny because, like Casey and I, our dynamic is really interesting. She’s a big personality and a handful, and I’m like a person who loves to poke, and I’m playful.

[00:31:48] Vince Xu: I like to have fun. It’s like she gets annoyed and then like she’s sometimes like too much for me, and I get annoyed. So there’s a lot of that, and I feel like that would be a really funny show, but we’ll see. We’ll see. 

[00:31:59] Maggie Chui: I can’t wait to hear the news, and hopefully, there will be something similar to bling empire from you guys.

[00:32:05] Maggie Chui: We’re very excited to see that. So, Vince, we have one last question for you: if you could give one piece of advice to, let’s say, an Asian male who’s trying to bring more representation to the Asian male community? What would that advice be? 

[00:32:20] Vince Xu: I think you already see it pretty common amongst the Asian community but have a side hustle, right?

[00:32:28] Vince Xu: Most of us were focused on our careers, and we often don’t focus on the creative outlets that we may have. That was the case for me, where I was working as a lawyer, so busy that I didn’t have a creative outlet. I think now being able to have something fun to do is on a show. And now, doing social media and stuff, it’s added a lot of fulfillment to my life.

[00:32:49] Vince Xu: I feel my life has become more colorful and fun. So I think, just go out there and just go for it. They contacted me because not enough Asian men are applying for this. We don’t even think about reality TV as, oh, I’m going to go for it, because we never see people like us on it that inspires us to want to apply.

[00:33:09] Vince Xu: So I hope if you watch my show and my storyline, you’ll be like, you know what, why don’t I try? Why don’t I apply for a show? We need more Asian guys to just go for it and be ballsy and not. Be like, I guess not afraid of being on TV and being judged.

[00:33:23] Vince Xu: No matter what, if you’re on TV, you’re going to have the haters, you’re going to have people that are going to you. Say stuff, but whatever, like who cares, don’t mind them like you just got to go for it. I think for a lot of us, we just need to get used to that because we’re not used to Asians and are not used to being in their limelight. We’re not used to having the spotlight, telling our stories, and taking ownership of it. Tell your story. Don’t let anyone else do it for you. Like you’re going to have to go for it. And I got lucky. Someone reached out to me, and I know that doesn’t happen all the time, so I feel like instead of waiting to get lucky, and if you already know you want to do it, apply and be persistent. Because, yes, I think a lot of times these casting directors and stuff, you’ll get a lot of inquiries, but unless you’re persistent, you can get lost in their whole list. Be persistent and show them how you’re different, and be compelling.

[00:34:10] Vince Xu: That was one thing that got me to cast. They said something you’re so compelling because I have a lot of stories to tell, and I can say to them with conviction and passion, and that’s what they want. They want to get storytellers, ultimately. Be passionate about your story. Have some stories maybe ready that you’re passionate about telling and do it; that’s the best advice I could give.

[00:34:27] Vince Xu: Yes, that’s good. You got to stand out, and the best way to do that is to tell your story. The thing about that is your account is unique to you. No one can tell the same level as you because you’re the only one who has gone through your unique experiences that no one else has.

[00:34:42] Vince Xu: You got to hone in on your stories and be able to tell that to other people. That’s really good advice. Thank you, Vince. So, where can listeners find out more about you and The One That Got Away online? 

[00:34:54] Vince Xu: Yes, for the show, The One That Got Away, it’s out on Amazon prime video, all ten episodes are already out, and it’s also available on Amazon for free.

[00:35:01] Vince Xu: If you don’t want to pay for it and want to watch ads, I guess you can watch it for free. And then for me, if you’re going to keep up with my life and after you watch a show, you’re like, oh, where is he at with the girl he left with blah, blah, blah. Just follow me on Instagram.

[00:35:12] Vince Xu: It’s Vince Xu, last name X-U. And you can find me on Instagram. On TikTok, it’s at Vince Xu underscore, and the same with Twitter. But yeah, I’m going to be creating more content. And so trying to be more active and engaging with my audience. Hopefully, you guys will find me there.

[00:35:28] Maggie Chui: Awesome. We’re going to look out for all of that new content Vince. So we’ll leave all that in this episode’s show notes. Vince, thank you so much for sharing your story with us today. It was amazing having you on the podcast. 

[00:35:40] Vince Xu: Thanks so much, Maggie. I appreciate your time.